A Quick Anecdote

My cat thinks she’s a dog. She follows me from room to room, keeps an eye on me at all times, and yowls like crazy when I leave. Yesterday, I was walking toward the door to go to the store. She sneak attacked me and started yowling again. I told her I’d only be gone a few minutes and to calm down. “Meooowwww!,” I got. So, I come home 15 minutes later, and tell her, “See, I was only gone a few minutes, you didn’t have to have a panic attack.” She simply laid there; looked at me; and slowly squinted her eyes, like, “Finally, the training is working. He’s coming home quicker and quicker.” I think I’ve been had. I immediately poured a Tito’s with lemonade and soda. My cat is driving me to drink! And shit. I’m talking to my cat in full sentences. I need human companionship.